Pure euphoria from a common smell (Day 23)

We are now on day 23 of my dear sweet husbands absence. Even though he is not here, we think of him every second of the day.

Last night I didn't get to bed until around 2 am, and had to wake up at five to jump start the day and get Jordan ready for school. As I suspected last night, I ended up keeping Jordan home from school. His cough was so bad this morning that it was making him throw up. So instead of getting dressed and eating, I sent Jordan and myself back to bed. Unfortunately, I was unable to fall back asleep but took the opportunity to just lay there for the extra hour and a half until I had to get my sweet babies.

When I went down stairs, there was Jordan, curled up on the couch tucked in under a blanket with his faithful companion (Punkin) laying right there on the couch with him. I headed straight for the coffee machine and figured that today was a day of all days that I needed some coffee. I have not made morning coffee since my husband left. Jordan was incredibly eager to get the babies from their rooms, so of course, he went upstairs and greeted them for the day.

We have many rules in this house, and one is that you are not allowed to leave your room until it is clean. After the babies cleaned their room, of course with my sweet big boys help, they headed down stairs.

The house was filled with the sweet aroma of coffee, and sure enough, I immediately felt sadness missing my husband. The babies must have had the same thoughts I did, for as soon as they hit those second flight of stairs they screamed "Daddies HOME!". That made my heart melt faster and deeper when I heard the excitement and hope in their sweet little voices. I had to tell them no, that daddy was at work, and they answered back with a horrible confusion on their face and in their voice "oh".

Today out of all days, we have our sweet Daddy on our minds - even more so the usual.

In some way, I have the urge to not make coffee in the mornings anymore until Daddies home. It is truly a Daddy smell, one that we relate to him and only him. I feel that is should be reserved for when daddies home. I would love them to grow up thinking of their father each and every time they smelt a pot of coffee, or me when they smell the sweet yeast in bread cooking. They already have that sweet memory from the smell of coffee tagged to their father, and I would hate to make it just another common smell they smell around the house on a daily basis when he is not home. Certain smells are such sweet treasures that should be cherished. I think I will just stick to my typical hot tea in the mornings from now on.