Sluggish

Why do these last few days of my husbands deployment seem so sluggish? Alright you slow, slithering few days - Move on to Monday already. Skip ahead, pass the weekend. The weekends are like the crust of the week anyway. Who truly enjoys crust? Not Monday! You slow down Monday, and my sweet husbands return!

Drug Problem

This was sent to me by my mother-in-law and I just had to share with the rest of the world.

This just speaks so much truth!

Pure euphoria from a common smell (Day 23)

We are now on day 23 of my dear sweet husbands absence. Even though he is not here, we think of him every second of the day.

Last night I didn't get to bed until around 2 am, and had to wake up at five to jump start the day and get Jordan ready for school. As I suspected last night, I ended up keeping Jordan home from school. His cough was so bad this morning that it was making him throw up. So instead of getting dressed and eating, I sent Jordan and myself back to bed. Unfortunately, I was unable to fall back asleep but took the opportunity to just lay there for the extra hour and a half until I had to get my sweet babies.

When I went down stairs, there was Jordan, curled up on the couch tucked in under a blanket with his faithful companion (Punkin) laying right there on the couch with him. I headed straight for the coffee machine and figured that today was a day of all days that I needed some coffee. I have not made morning coffee since my husband left. Jordan was incredibly eager to get the babies from their rooms, so of course, he went upstairs and greeted them for the day.

We have many rules in this house, and one is that you are not allowed to leave your room until it is clean. After the babies cleaned their room, of course with my sweet big boys help, they headed down stairs.

The house was filled with the sweet aroma of coffee, and sure enough, I immediately felt sadness missing my husband. The babies must have had the same thoughts I did, for as soon as they hit those second flight of stairs they screamed "Daddies HOME!". That made my heart melt faster and deeper when I heard the excitement and hope in their sweet little voices. I had to tell them no, that daddy was at work, and they answered back with a horrible confusion on their face and in their voice "oh".

Today out of all days, we have our sweet Daddy on our minds - even more so the usual.

In some way, I have the urge to not make coffee in the mornings anymore until Daddies home. It is truly a Daddy smell, one that we relate to him and only him. I feel that is should be reserved for when daddies home. I would love them to grow up thinking of their father each and every time they smelt a pot of coffee, or me when they smell the sweet yeast in bread cooking. They already have that sweet memory from the smell of coffee tagged to their father, and I would hate to make it just another common smell they smell around the house on a daily basis when he is not home. Certain smells are such sweet treasures that should be cherished. I think I will just stick to my typical hot tea in the mornings from now on.

Day 17 - Perspective

Here I am, going on day 17 of my husbands deployment. The house is still present with moments of laughter, sadness, peace, and longing. We spend the majority of our days reading books, playing outside visiting friends, and coming up with some way to use our imagination.

Charlotte has taken on the role of "Mommy" in a big, and not so pleasant way. I know she is in the mimicking faze, and she is only doing what she sees me doing. I am trying to be patient, and not over react with her over what is just part of a 'growing' process. I have to say, it is a hard thing to do.

I admit, after reading the book "The Noticer" by Andy Andrews, I was a little more knowledgeable in the area of perspective. Everyone has perspective, but does everyone focus on the right sort of perspective that could enhance their life, and others around them? Take for instance, Charlotte. She is playing Mommy these days, disciplining her brother vocally, loving on her brothers through affection, and using her manners. I can not take the blame for the good, with out taking the blame for the bad as well. Instead of correcting her, telling her what she is doing is wrong, I need to change the way I am, and pray she picks up on the good. I need to start giving her more verbal praise when she is sweet natured towards him, and talk to her in a more gentle and softer tone when she is a bit more brash and unwelcoming towards him.

I have learned the motto "Do as I say, and not as I do" is a complete cop-out and lack of self discipline in living by this. It is easy to do, yes, but incredibly lazy, and very irresponsible.

If you curse around your children, of course they will curse.

If you use manners with your children, they will use manners as well.

If you yell at your children, they in turn will yell at their siblings or friends.

The list is limitless.

I am trying to take a new approach, and kick the habit of yelling, or voice raising in any way.

I am also trying to make sure, with every discipline, I also turn around and show twice the love. It is easy, very easy for me to punish my child for doing wrong, and then go about my day. I have to make a conscious effort to remember to turn around five or ten minutes after each incident and show them double the amount of love.

There are days, like today that I just want to pull out my hair from what seems everyone is suffering from "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" syndrome. These are the days that I have to lock myself in the bathroom, sit on the closed toilet, and pray to god to give me the patience, and the strength not to loose my patience, then regroup, and re-enter the world of moodiness.

It is a process that I am going through, and a change (a big change) that I am welcoming and wanting, and praying on.

My perspective -

I am blessed to have such a great roof over my head.

I am blessed to have three healthy and amazing children.

I am blessed that I have a wonderful man that loves me to no end

I am blessed that I have a feast to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I am blessed that I have the power and chance to make my life and myself into what I dream.

I am blessed to have friends, true friends that care enough about me

I am blessed to have a wonderful mothers and fathers from both mine and my husbands side.

I am blessed that I am breathing.

Simply - "I AM BLESSED"

everything else in between seems so frivolous, and unimportant.

Yearning....

Just thinking about a time not to long ago when I could still consider at least one of my children to still be a "baby". With all my children up, and walking, talking, arguing, singing, and loving, I am starting to get a little more of the baby fever.  It is such a strong drive for us as females to want to reproduce again and again.  Unfortunately, there will be no more little ones being born in the Hughes household.  I am going to have to rely on some family members or good friends to start to have babies so I can live vicariously through them. 

(William learning how to walk)